Grief series - 5. Let’s be kinder

For this last post in this series about grief, I want to share my key message for anyone going through grief or supporting someone going through grief. 

Let's be kinder. 

Let's be more compassionate towards ourselves and towards people in our lives who are grieving and who do things that maybe we don't understand or that don't match our expectations of how they should be grieving.

You may know a friend who is going for a breakup and who tells you they are going to do one thing, but then they do the complete opposite. 

They are in the dance of grief so let's not judge. It is their journey. 

Another example may be that the wave of grief hits you after it has been months of thinking you were ‘over it’.

Or you may be feeling ‘fine’ but everyone tells you “you have to process it, you have to grieve”.

Let's not judge. 

Let's not expect. 

Let's be kind. 

Everyone's grief is their journey. 

People do what they can, trying and learning one day at a time, one hour at a time. 

Let's try to acknowledge that and give them that space while being there for them. 

We can message and say “I’m here for you” or “do you want to go for a walk?” but let's not expect them to tell us things or force them to tell us things or to do things. 

It's their journey. 

If you're grieving, it's your journey. 

If you seek counselling, I hope it helps you be kinder to yourself in your way of grieving to diminish the pull of feeling that you're not grieving properly or that you're not doing the things that you should be doing.